I am single, though I’d like to be married when the time comes. I am confident that in the Lord’s perfect timing he will present me to a good man. The key here is “the Lord’s perfect timing,” it’s not my timing. Only he knows when we are ready for the next phase of life. One thing I have tried to do, and I see many young people doing, is trying to do things on my time in my way. It wasn’t until more recently that I found the joy of singleness; so many of us today are seeking relationships with others when we should be seeking our relationship with God.
I have come to a place of understanding that I must follow God to be a godly wife…obviously. I read somewhere that over 50% of marriages in this country fail, while practicing Catholics divorce at a rate half of that. (I don’t know where I saw it, but if I find it again, I’ll let you know.) This strikes me because it means that God is at the core of a successful marriage. It is through Jesus that two people can be joined together until death. He is the glue in the relationship. So if a strong relationship with Christ is at the core of every successful marriage, then doesn’t that mean he should be at the core of our single lives as we prepare for marriage? Yes!
During this blessed season of singleness I must remind myself to have heart completely focused on him. I urge you, sisters, to seek only the will of God in your lives for the sake of your future husband. Our spiritual lives are like a muscle that must be exercised. While we are single we devote ourselves to strengthening that muscle, pursing the Lord, seeking him, receiving him, and allowing him to penetrate every aspect of our lives, and being dependent upon him. When we do this as single ladies, we are more likely to do it as married women. The faithful often speak of a God shaped hole inside each of us that we try filing with vices and false idols. I wonder if the reason so many marriages fail is because wives are trying to make their husbands their gods (or visa verse)? Men are just men, only God is God. Our future husbands won’t be perfect (that hurts to write because I’ve been praying for a brunette Catholic Captain America for a long time). If we are focused on Jesus now, his perfection, his glory, and being in awe of his love alone, we probably won’t try fitting a mere man into our God shaped hole. When we realize we love because Christ loves us first then we can see that Jesus blesses us with husbands for him to be an instrument of His love. None of us love on our own, we are merely tools for the love of God. In the same way, we can’t love husbands apart form Christ. We are instruments Jesus uses to love the people He has placed in our lives.
My point in all of this is to say that we need to seek Christ first and Christ alone. Without him, we are doomed to fail before we start, with him all things are possible. My prayer for us today is to find joy in this season of singleness and to thank the Lord for giving us the opportunity to be single in mind and heart so we can devote ourselves only to seeking him.
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